Condition

Grief

also known as bereavement

Medically reviewed by the Shrinkopedia editorial team, led by Shariq Refai, MD, MBA, FAPA.

6 min read · 1,414 words

Medically reviewed . Reviewed by a board-certified psychiatrist before publication.
Sourced from primary literature . DSM-5-TR, NICE, the American Psychiatric Association, the NIMH, Cochrane, peer-reviewed research.
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Quick answer

Grief is the natural human response to loss, especially the death of someone close. It isn't a mental illness, and most grief doesn't need treatment. There's no fixed timeline and no single right way to grieve. For a small number of people, grief stays intensely disabling well past the expected period, and that pattern is now recognized as prolonged grief disorder, which can benefit from focused support.

Definition

Grief is what we feel when we lose someone or something deeply meaningful. It's a normal, expected response, not a disorder, and the large majority of people move through it with the support of time, connection, and their own ways of coping.

Grief takes many shapes. It can bring sadness, but also anger, guilt, relief, numbness, longing, and waves of feeling that come and go without warning. There's no correct sequence and no schedule it should follow.

In 2022, DSM-5-TR added prolonged grief disorder as a diagnosable condition for a small subset of people. It describes grief that, well past the expected social and cultural period (at least 12 months after the loss for adults, and at least 6 months for children and adolescents), remains intensely preoccupying and disabling, with persistent yearning or preoccupation and significant distress or impairment. The point of this category isn't to medicalize ordinary mourning. It's to recognize the minority for whom grief becomes stuck and disabling, and who may benefit from grief-focused therapy.

Symptoms and key features

Grief commonly involves:

deep sadness, longing, or yearning for the person who died
waves of intense emotion, often triggered by reminders, that come and recede
numbness, disbelief, or a sense of unreality, especially early on
difficulty with sleep, appetite, and concentration
a mix of feelings that can include anger, guilt, and relief

These experiences are normal. In prolonged grief disorder, the intense yearning or preoccupation persists, stays disabling, and continues well beyond the expected period.

What it looks like

Grief arrives in waves rather than a steady line, calm one hour and overwhelming the next.
A song, a smell, or an empty chair brings the loss back sharply, then it eases again.
Over months, the waves usually come less often and feel less consuming, even though the loss remains.
For most people, life slowly makes room for the loss. For a few, grief stays as raw and consuming as it was at the start.

What people often confuse this with

Depression. Grief and depression can look similar and can occur together, but they're not the same. Grief tends to come in waves tied to reminders, and positive feelings can still surface between them. Depression is more pervasive and persistent. Grief can also unmask or worsen depression, so if low mood becomes constant and self-worth collapses, that's worth a clinical look.

A problem to be fixed. Ordinary grief isn't a disorder and usually doesn't need treatment. It needs time, support, and space, not a cure.

The "five stages". The well-known five stages idea is widely misunderstood. It was never meant as a fixed sequence everyone passes through in order. Grief rarely follows neat steps.

Reality check

Myth: Grief follows five stages, in order.

The five stages were never intended as a checklist everyone completes in sequence. Grief is individual and non-linear, and there's no schedule it should keep.

Myth: Grief that lasts a long time means something is wrong.

There's no deadline on grief. Most grief naturally softens over time, but missing someone for years is normal. Prolonged grief disorder is defined not just by duration, but by grief that stays intensely preoccupying and disabling well past the expected period.

Myth: Staying strong means not showing grief.

There's no strength requirement in grief and no right way to do it. Crying, talking, ritual, quiet, and connection are all valid. Suppressing grief isn't a sign of doing it well.

What research says

Grief is studied across psychology and medicine, and the evidence is mixed, partly because grief is so individual.

Most grief doesn't need treatment. The large majority of bereaved people adapt over time with the support of family, friends, community, and ritual.
Prolonged grief disorder is a recognized minority pattern. DSM-5-TR added it in 2022 for those whose grief remains intensely disabling well past the expected period. Grief-focused therapy can help this group.
Support matters for everyone. Connection, time, and meaningful ritual help people carry a loss, even when grief itself isn't treated.
Grief can interact with other conditions. It can unmask or worsen depression, and traumatic loss can be linked with PTSD, which is why a clinical view is useful when symptoms intensify rather than ease.

What we know and what we don't know

What we know

Grief is a normal response to loss, not a mental illness, and most of it doesn't need treatment.
There's no fixed timeline and no single correct way to grieve.
A small subset experience prolonged grief disorder, a DSM-5-TR diagnosis, and grief-focused therapy can help them.

What we don't know

We can't reliably predict who will develop prolonged grief disorder and who won't.
The boundary between intense ordinary grief and prolonged grief disorder involves clinical judgment, and the diagnosis remains debated.
Why grief takes such different shapes across people and cultures isn't fully explained.

Questions people ask

Is grief a mental illness?

No. Grief is a normal response to loss. It is not a psychiatric disorder in itself. The DSM-5-TR added a specific diagnosis (prolonged grief disorder) for the small subset of grieving people whose symptoms persist far beyond expected timeframes and cause significant impairment.

How long is normal to grieve?

There isn't a fixed timeline. Cultural, individual, and relational factors all shape it. Prolonged grief disorder is diagnosed after at least 12 months in adults when specific persistent symptoms remain. Ordinary grief without meeting those criteria can continue much longer without being a disorder.

Do I need therapy for grief?

Many people don't. Grief without complications, in a person with supportive relationships and stable function, usually doesn't require professional treatment. Therapy is worth considering when grief is prolonged and functionally disabling, when it's complicated by trauma, guilt, or ambivalence, or when co-occurring depression or anxiety develops.

What's the difference between grief and depression?

They overlap. Both can include sadness, sleep and appetite changes, and reduced function. Grief is typically tied to the loss, comes in waves, and includes positive memories alongside the pain. Depression tends to be more pervasive, less connected to specific memories, and often includes self-critical thoughts and hopelessness independent of the loss.

Are medications used for grief?

Generally not for grief itself. Medications are considered when depression, sleep problems, or anxiety develop alongside or after the loss. Treating those doesn't interfere with grieving.

Sources

American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR). Prolonged grief disorder.
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Information on grief, bereavement, and depression.
World Health Organization. International Classification of Diseases, 11th Revision (ICD-11). Prolonged grief disorder.
Clinical literature on grief, bereavement, and grief-focused therapy.

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How to cite this page

Short: Grief. Shrinkopedia, medically reviewed by Shariq Refai, MD, MBA. https://shrinkopedia.com/conditions/grief/
APA: Shrinkopedia. (2026, May 24). Grief. Medically reviewed by Shariq Refai, MD, MBA. https://shrinkopedia.com/conditions/grief/
MLA: "Grief." Shrinkopedia, 24 May 2026, https://shrinkopedia.com/conditions/grief/.

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Medical disclaimer

Shrinkopedia is for education, not medical advice. It can't diagnose you, and it isn't a substitute for care from a licensed clinician. Grief is a natural response to loss, and most of the time it doesn't need treatment. If your grief stays intensely disabling long after the loss, or if it shades into a constant depression, a clinician can help.

If you're in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or call 911.

See where this fits in the Atlas: how your mind works →

Editorial guidance

When evaluation may help

Reading a reference is not the same thing as being evaluated. If what you just read matches your own experience closely, if the pattern has been getting in the way of work, relationships, or daily life, or if you have questions that only a clinician who knows your situation can answer, a professional evaluation is a reasonable next step. Reading forward without seeking evaluation is also a reasonable choice for many people. There isn't one right answer.

A few honest options, presented in no particular order:

Your primary care doctor. Often the fastest way to begin. A family doctor or internist can do an initial screen, rule out medical contributors, and refer you to a psychiatrist or therapist if that's the right next step. This is the entry point most people already have.
A therapist through Psychology Today or your insurance panel. Search Psychology Today by location and specialty, or call the member services number on your insurance card and ask for the in-network therapists near you. Look for someone trained in the treatments Shrinkopedia describes for grief.
A psychiatrist. If medication is likely to be part of the picture, or the situation is complex, a psychiatrist is the clinician to see. Wait times are often long, so book earlier rather than later. Ask about telepsychiatry if in-person options are limited where you live.
shrinkMD if telepsychiatry fits. Disclosure: shrinkMD is an independent multistate telepsychiatry practice founded by Shariq Refai, MD, MBA, who is also the medical editor of Shrinkopedia. Shrinkopedia takes no referral or affiliate commission for care. We name shrinkMD here because it is transparently one option, not because we recommend it above other qualified clinicians. shrinkMD provides adult outpatient psychiatric evaluation, medication management, and follow-up care through secure virtual appointments. If it fits your situation, you can start care at shrinkMD. Other qualified psychiatrists in your area or through your health plan will do this same work.
If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself. Call or text 988 in the US, 24 hours a day, to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Call 911 or go to an emergency room for immediate danger. This is not the moment to search for a new psychiatrist.

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